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Posts Tagged ‘childhood’

As a kid, when it was raining while the sun was shining, my dad used to say: “Well, the devil’s whipping his wife.”

I used to consider it and think “how odd–why would the whole world be able to see that.”

That adage left me thinking that the “devil” was a mean old coot. After all, what man would whip his wife? No one could be that evil, except the bad boy himself.

I admit that I think the devil is evil and a mean old coot. But the whole rainy day and sunshine thing…well, that was just one of my dear ole’ dad’s tales. Nonetheless, it did not take long for me to realize that many, many men whip their wives, and vice-versa.

The innocence of childhood fantasy and ways of thinking, grew into the cruel images implanted in my mind, from watching the aftereffects of spousal abuse first hand.

Not so long ago, it was a hush hush kind of deal when abuse went on in a family. You did not speak of it; you quietly watched, bore and processed it any way you could. You feared, cried and felt ashamed–of what–was never really clear.

Today, things have changed. There are ways to report abuse safely where you can receive counsel and help. It is not something you have to live with, hide or harbor feeling of shame.

If you find yourself in a situation, or know someone who is you can call: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline site. The service is available 24/7.

SIGNS OF ABUSE:

  • Shameful or degrading put down’s
  • Actions or looks that are intimidating or cause fear
  • Control over who you see, talk to or visit
  • Keeps your money or allows you not to have money
  • Not allowing independent thinking, or input in decisions regarding your life’s situation
  • Threatening to hurt you or your children
  • Not acknowledging abuse exist or minimizing it
  • Trashing your things
  • Shoving, slapping, choking or hitting you
  • Threatening to commit suicide if you leave or file charges
  • Threatening to kill you

Looking out the window the other day, the sun was shining and it began to rain. A time in history flashed before me and I whispered to myself: “somewhere, a devil is whipping his wife.” Don’t let it be you–call today!

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This morning while washing dishes I looked out the window above my kitchen sink and saw a neighbor donning an old fashioned, bandanaprint gardening bonnet. As feeble as she is-must be in her 80’s-she ambles out to her vegetable garden each day with her cane and tends to her crops.

Ruminating on my childhood I could remember “ma” doing the same thing. I considered what happened to the reasonable utility bonnets that protected us from sun and heat exposure. The functional bonnet that kept a lady’s head cool by trapping perspiration inside, allowing the breeze to act as a cooling fan; maybe, in part that-in and of itself-was it. Imagine our “do” would be nothing more than an oily, flat sheen, plastered to our head.  Horrors!  After all, today, we have our sun hats, cutesy visors and designer bonnets for the 21st century’s trendy woman-all of which-will allow for the cutest hairdo to remain in tact.

But the flip side to our trendy style is, they really do not offer protection from the sun and elements, as does the utilitarian sunbonnet of old. Worth the cost? I dunno, since we as a people are becoming more concerned about healthy lifestyles and living longer, the old bonnet may win out over style to reduce the effects of sun damage – mainly skin cancer.

These thoughts took me down another path concerning headgear and hairdos; the headscarf. 

As spring first began in Southeast Texas, 2009, the winds carried a force to be recokened with-especially for ladies whose hair is “kept”.  A friend of mine owns a headscarf-you know the sheer ones made of a delicate cotton-poleyster blend-and she being a lady whose hair is kept, her scarf gets a lot of use. I so desparately wished at that time, and even now that I too, owned one. Nonetheless, she asked me if at anytime I came across these dying breeds to please pick up one. Since then, I find myself looking in every shop, boutique, flea market and garage sale for one, two or more of these protective treasures for ones head. Yet, none have been found. Perhaps e-bay or some online boutique may offer them-I’ll check and let you know. The very idea of being a ladies, lady-supposing that to be similar to a man’s, man-is just exactly what I wanna be; femine.

So…my musings today lead me to the conclusion that I think sunbonnets, headscarfs and other such stuff  are for me, how about you?

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